MWfWW1: Keeping your story under control.
February 5, 2013 | Posted in: Homework Assignments, Learning Resources
Don’t be this author! Don’t “write yourself into a corner!”
Tip 1: Keep your story under control so that you can resolve the problem! Don’t write yourself into a corner!
We all know the story of “You Know Who’s” House Disaster. (No names on the website, remember?) It’s the story of the girl who plays ping-pong in her basement and bursts a pipe, flooding the basement and eventually the whole house. Filled to the roof with water, the house lifts off its foundation, floats down the hill, and ends up in the middle of traffic where it gets smashed to smithereens by two tractor trailers.
Zounds! It is a fun story, but how in the world can we RESOLVE the story?! This story has gotten out of control, and there’s no easy way for us to solve the problem.
Your assignment is to revise the story so make it more controllable. You can change it at any point, but don’t rewrite the whole thing. (For example, don’t get rid of the flooding basement problem.) Focus on making changes that would allow you, as the author, to stay in control of the story so that you can resolve the problem at the end.
Don’t WRITE the new version of the story. (That would take a long time!) Instead, describe what EVENTS would be in your story to keep it controlled for you, as the author. Your revisions must include a SOLUTION to the problem. Begin your response like this:
If I was the author, I would ________
Remember, no names at all. Also, if you choose to give feedback to a classmate, keep your comments kind and constructive.
52 Comments
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1213-2
February 5, 2013
If I was the author, I would resolve the problem by that 1213-11 would find a vacuum cleaner in the street and suck all the water up.
jonmoss
February 5, 2013
Interesting idea, 2! But with the water continuing to pour out, you would need to continually suck up all the water. How will you stop the water?
1213-21
February 5, 2013
I like your idea
1213-11
February 5, 2013
and what about the house i need to know
1213-1
February 5, 2013
If I was the author I would resolve the problem for 11 by calling Century 21 and ask for them to build the house again.
If I was the author I would resolve the problem for 11 by making the wind blow really hard and blow all the water away.
1213-21
February 5, 2013
I think your idea is cool too #1
1213-6
February 5, 2013
Thats cool 1
jonmoss
February 5, 2013
Interesting idea! But again, even if the water is blown away, how will you stop it from coming out?
1213-21
February 5, 2013
If I was the author I would resolve the problem by 11 remembering what she learned in school what to do when there is a flood in a house put all the towels that you have everywhere and 11 did just that
jonmoss
February 5, 2013
What outcome would you expect?
1213-10
February 5, 2013
I would not put in the part that her whole house flooded and that her house floated off the foundation.
1213-17
February 5, 2013
I agree
1213-17
February 5, 2013
If i was the author i would resolve the problem by not even have the pipe burst, instead the ball hit a mirror and shattered it ,now it’s a whole new story.
FOR FUN
jonmoss
February 5, 2013
As an author, 17, you certainly could do that. But the challenge was to keep the original problem (the flooding basement) but to solve it in a way that keeps the story under your control. How else could the problem have been solved?
jonmoss
February 5, 2013
What would you do instead, 10?
1213-6
February 5, 2013
If I was the author i would have had 11 call Sesame St. and asked them to help me get rid of the water:-)
1213-5
February 5, 2013
Really 6?
1213-11
February 5, 2013
not a bad idea
1213-8
February 5, 2013
me likey
1213-8
February 5, 2013
its funny too
jonmoss
February 5, 2013
Why Sesame Street?
1213-5
February 5, 2013
I think the story could have been solved by [MOSS’S EDIT – REMOVING NAME] finding duct tape and fixing the pipe.
1213-17
February 5, 2013
name 2 name
1213-17
February 5, 2013
opps, I ment, to say name 5
1213-4
February 5, 2013
NAME NAME NAME!!!!!!!!
jonmoss
February 5, 2013
I like the idea, 5! Remember, no names next time!
1213-17
February 5, 2013
If I was the author I would say that 11’s mom called and said they will be 454,656,123,098,453 hours late so 11 had super powers so she glued the house back together and shut off the water and in 454,656,123,098,453 and a half hours later they AKA mom and dad came home .
1213-4
February 5, 2013
Where did 1213-11 get the superpowers?
jonmoss
February 5, 2013
That’s a good question, 4. 17, I like how creative you got here. Your ideas will help you with a future writing tip. But 4’s question is a good one. How did she get super powers?
1213-12
February 5, 2013
If I was the author, I would have 11 see a pool being built in her backyard. All the water would pour out of the window into the pool and there would be no water left in the pipe. Turns out her mom ordered a pool for a surprise!
jonmoss
February 5, 2013
LOVE IT!
1213-11
February 5, 2013
if i was the author i would the part where it floats down and gets wreaked and smashed to peices and take out the part where she does everything she wants to and how she made a list of stuff todo
1213-11
February 5, 2013
then have more stuff to write so the author would have not gotten stuck in a corner
1213-14
February 5, 2013
If I was author I would have 11 start duck-tapping on the hose or something like that,then pour water into bathroom so water could sink down the drain.
jonmoss
February 5, 2013
Creative solution!
1213-9
February 5, 2013
If I was the author I would have had a tow truck tow the house back on
to it’s foundation and called a plumber.
jonmoss
February 5, 2013
Nice and simple, 9. Sometimes that’s the best way, right??? Plus, you are writing about what you KNOW. (Spoiler alert! :-D)
1213-8
February 5, 2013
if i was the auther i would change the part when #11 house shatterd the windows and the house drifted down the road, buy her dog was very,very,very,very,very,very,and last but not least very thirsty and drank up the whole water and #11 duck taped the pipe super glued the whole house down its foundation(and woke up saying oh it was just a dream)(jk = just kidding)all before her parents came home THE END . .
*
/~~~
jonmoss
February 5, 2013
I love the thirsty dog! A bit of hyperbole, eh?
1213-7
February 5, 2013
I would have done, 1213-11 found a magic lamp and a genie came out . Then the genie granted her 3 wishes Her first wish was that the house came back to it’s normal spot, her second wish was that the house had no more water, and her third was that her parents came home and they didn’t even know anything had happened. The genie left and the parents came home 1213-11 said I had so much fun while you were gone.
jonmoss
February 5, 2013
This could be a good solution. But beware – when you use one of these “simple solutions” that instantly solve everything, they can almost feel like a cheat to the reader, and they often don’t show all the skill that the author has. Use them sparingly.
1213-4
February 5, 2013
If I was the author of this story,I would resolve this problem by saying
that 1213-11 lived in Death Valley(true place), so the water keeps on evaporating, and the trucks melt.
If I was the author of this story, I would resolve this problem by saying that a hose was connected to the pipe and the Pacific Ocean, and the part is that there is a tsunami.
FIXED IT!!!!:) 🙂 But, there’s another problem.:(
jonmoss
February 5, 2013
I like the Death Valley idea. Perhaps a science connection!
1213-15
February 5, 2013
If I was the author, I would have 11 and her friends ask the chipmunks to help them rebuild the house and they could all drink the water up.
1213-16
February 5, 2013
If I were the author I would make 11 really rich and have a telporter and right before the house goes down the hill she telports it back on the hill.She telports the water all over town.
jonmoss
February 5, 2013
Where did she get the teleporter? Don’t write about it unless you can back it up, 🙂
1213-18
February 5, 2013
If I was the the author I would have a giant claw from the sky Nd grab the house while a herd of monkeys take out all of the water from the house so she put all the furniture in the right places . Then the parents just came home and every thing was back together.THE END!
jonmoss
February 5, 2013
Where did the claw and monkeys come from?
jonmoss
February 5, 2013
Gang, I’m so impressed with the quality of your ideas tonight! I hope you enjoyed this activity! More coming soon!
1213-19
February 6, 2013
If i were the author i would make one of the trucks stop and the truck had a huge barrel on
the top. The truck also had a very large vacuum and it sucked up all the water. The other truck
was a bulldozer and it pushed the house back into place. At that moment her parents come home.
1213-13
February 6, 2013
If i were the author I would have the tractor trailers not be tractor trailers they would be Maxbox cars drove by ants so the house would be barely dented,11 then calls all of her friends/family push the whole house back on to its place and take a hose and shove all the water into a hose and wash the neighbors car for free.
THE END pretty much
1213-3
February 6, 2013
If i were the author I would have made 11 find a magic genie bottle while she was swimming up the stairs .I would make her wish for the pipe to be fixed . Finnaly she should wish for all of the water to be gone.