A Very Sad Day
October 16, 2009 | Posted in: Class Updates
Today was a terribly sad day for teachers and many students at Pine Grove School. This morning, teachers learned of the passing of a kindergartner at PGS. Some time ago, she was diagnosed with a rare form of childhood cancer, and we were told that she lost her battle yesterday at approximately 3:00pm. (I don’t post student names on the class website, so please pardon the sterile and seemingly uncaring way that I’ve written this by not including her name.)
Ms. D-H has sent home a letter to each parent today that explains what has happened and what we, as a school, are doing for the students. (Your child should have that letter to give you. The text of that letter is available here. Click “more” at the end of this post to read it.)
But I wanted to take the opportunity to share with you directly how the situation was handled in our class so that you can best discuss this tragedy with your children. (Each class addressed the situation differently, depending on whether students knew about the tragedy, whether they brought it up in front of other kids, etc.) In fact, however, the topic hasn’t yet been discussed in our class. Although many students in other classes came to school today knowing of her passing (which, I’m told, was shared late last night), none of the kids in our class seem to have been aware of the situation. I made a point of being close to conversations out at lockers this morning as kids came in, and there were no discussions that I saw. Everyone seemed happy. Because of this, I did not bring up the news with the class and want to let individual families proceed as they think best. That said, I would imagine that there may have been some discussion at recess as kids from different classes socialized with one another, so your children may now now about the student’s passing.
On Monday, I imagine that many students will come to school aware of what has happened. Conversations between students are likely (as they walk in, at recess, etc), and I would encourage you to have a discussion with your child in advance, to the extent that you are comfortable. Teachers are meeting at 3:40 to discuss how our classes were today (if they were aware of the news) and to formulate a plan for how we’ll proceed on Monday. When I have more information to share with you, I will do so. (At the very least, I will post an update on Monday so that you know how our day went specifically in Room 209.)
On a personal note, my thoughts and prayers go out to the family of the young girl – a sentiment that I know is shared by all the other teachers and staff at PGS. As I watched students walk in this morning, most smiling and excited to see their friends, I couldn’t imagine my reaction if something were to happen to any of my students, given how close I feel with them all. This is a tragedy that will undoubtedly touch the whole PGS community as word spreads, and we will get through it together.
Please feel free to contact me over the weekend if you have any questions or concerns. My wife and I are in a childbirth class all day Saturday, but if you have any urgent concerns and need to reach me immediately, you can page me by emailing the emergency email address that I shared at the September open house. (I have also shared that email address in an email to you all. If you page me, include your name and phone number at the beginning, because I only get about 100 characters of the message.) I can put you in touch with grief counselors, if the need arises. Otherwise, I will check my work email throughout the weekend, whenever possible.
Click on the link, below, to read the letter from Ms. D-H.
Student and family names have been removed from this letter to protect everyone’s privacy on the web. Your child has the full, unedited version of this letter in his or her backpack.
October 16, 2009
Dear Families:
We are deeply saddened by the passing of one of the youngest members of our school community, [name omitted]. [Name omitted] was a student in Mrs. Daniel’s afternoon kindergarten class who was diagnosed with a rare form of childhood cancer. [Name omitted] is survived by [name omitted], a second grader in Mrs. Castle’s room, her two year old sister, [name omitted], and her parents [name omitted] and [name omitted].
Our hearts go out to this grieving family. Today, our crisis team met with the staff to assist them in answering questions and guiding discussions that might come up in class. We are not making announcements, but feel that there is a high degree of certainty that children will be talking about this sad news. Our focus will be to dispel rumors and misinformation and helping our students to focus on how to be a caring group of friends.
We found out this information late last night, and wanted to give this information to you in order to assist you in determining how you would like to address it with your child at home. The Safe Place to Grieve Foundation (safeplacetogrieve.com) has valuable resources to help children process death and grief. They have counselors available specifically for children, as well as books, a lending library and other resources to help parents process this tragic event with their children.
We would like to make you aware that our school psychologists are available for any child or parent who might need assistance. Our crisis team has the full support of the district resources and will have appropriate staff members available. Since this news is just being shared through the community, we anticipate that some classes might need help in the way of guided discussions and some children may need to speak to a professional. If you have any concerns about your child, or how to respond to their questions, please contact your child’s teacher or the resources included in this letter. We are here to support the [name omitted] family and our school community at this difficult time.
Those of you who signed up for email notification from the school might have learned about Margaret and efforts to support the [Name omitted] family. [Name omitted] and [Name omitted] have set up a web page at www.caringbridge.org to update family and community friends. After signing onto her account, you can go directly to her site with her initials [initials omitted]. They will be posting information as funeral arrangements are made.
Our thoughts and prayers are with the family,
Gail Dahling-Hench Debbie Grainsky
Pine Grove School Psychologists:
Todd Markham Tiffany Gooding
860-404-4790 ext. 1180 860-404-4790 ext. 1220
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